I am a proudly black African woman raising 3 gorgeous children; royalty they are. Being a black business mom in the United Kingdom means that sometimes we encounter some tough situations that question our capacity. The past few weeks have seen big waves of campaigns against racism across the globe. It hurts that I have to have conversations with my kids about how to react when they are bullied or when they are victims of racism. This reality, however, is real for a lot of black men and women. As a mom and a business woman, you need to grow into various networks irrespective of race and colour. How then do you handle these circumstances?

Sadly, my first 2 have experienced racism in school. Both the subtle and the right in your face type.

I, of course, took things up with their schools and insisted disciplinary actions were taken against the perpetrators. More importantly though, I insisted the school must take a stand and show that racism is not accepted in my son's school. They had a special assembly to discuss this.

I just couldn't understand how children could be that vile towards another child because of the colour of his or her skin. I understand that these children learned to be racists from home. It's due to conversations happening or NOT happening in their homes.

Some of my non-black friends have reached out wanting to know genuinely how they can help and what they can do to help. I believe the answer is EDUCATION. Be open minded enough to understand us, our history, our background, and our culture. Then have those conversations at home with your children.

Let them know no race is superior to another. Let them know it is wrong to treat somebody different because of their skin colour. Let them know that it is wrong to hate anyone because of their skin colour. Let them know our world is indeed a beautiful place because of our differences. We must all learn to love and embrace our differences. How boring this world would be if we were all the same. It's important to show the world that black lives really matter.

As a mother and business person, I understand the importance of healthy relationships and communities for success. We must continue to deliver on our capacity irrespective of these circumstances.

I am Shayo Alofe and I am proudly black.

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I noticed a pattern about 9 years ago. Whenever I'm about to accomplish a new thing, attain a new height, or do something significant, I face a challenge that initially looks insurmountable. However, by praying and seeking counsel, I have always sailed through.

You would think that by now I would recognise the pattern. Yet, when challenges arise, I am not always prepared. It takes being quiet in my spirit and listening to wise counsel for me to remember, ohhh, there must be something major coming my way.

I don't know why it happens this way for me, but I'm grateful.

Challenges come with advantages

1. These challenges keep you grounded.
2. They humble me, and they force me to grow.
3. They also remind me that I can not rely on my own strength, I need God and I need others!

I have also come to recognise these challenges as announcers of something major right around the corner.

This post might just be for you. It has been on my heart to share and if this is for you, please remember that you are not alone!

These challenges keep you grounded.

Shayo Alofe

It is a blessing to have these challenges that force us to grow and become better than we were. They inadvertently prepare us for the weight of the glory coming.

What then can you do when you feel cornered in by challenges? There are a few simple steps which have proven effective for me.

5 Steps for Surmounting Challenges Everyday

1. Pray like everything depends on it.
2. Seek godly counsel. Don't listen to naysayers.
3. Introspect and evaluate the situation appropriately. Don't let fear escalate things.
4. Look out for the growth that needs to happen.
5. Let others help you.

Have a great week.

In recent times, I reconnected with some of my secondary school classmates. Many I had not heard from for 25+ years!

Sadly we've lost some over the years. May their souls rest in peace. AMEN

I'm grateful for these reconnections, and the memories rushing back. It's interesting how some of us have not changed. The old nicknames, games, best friends and so on. We are still young at heart and merry even.

Part of reconnecting with old friends is also sharing what has happened in your life. For me, the biggest story is that I'm happily divorced. Many don't understand that but it's ok. 🤷🏾‍♀️

This fact has also struck up some interesting conversations. Funny how a dear friend was telling me qualities about me that she knew 20+ years ago. It started from me owning my truth.

Another interesting lesson this conversation showed me was how those of us who knew a bit about love and building a beautiful relationship got it wrong. Isn't that ironic? Despite giving all sorts of relationship advice, we are still fallible as well.

It's why I have chosen to be more intentional about my life moving forward. I own the mistakes and do more with the life I have.

"Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn't settle for it."

You were created to do much more than just pay the bills and die.

You were made for much more than working at a job you do not like for 40+ years so you can retire at 65/70yrs!

There are other destinies tied to yours. My old mentor called it "a chain of destiny."

I hope and pray that you find the courage to stop settling for whatever life throws at you and start running after the dreams that have been placed on your heart. Love and life will find you.

You deserve so much more!

Watching The Great British Bake Off got me thinking about how networking is a bit like showcasing your best bakes. You want to perform consistently well, highlighting your skills and developing a powerful connection with people who get a taster of your deliciously impressive business.

It doesn’t matter if your signature dish is a Bakewell Tart or an Olive Focaccia, it’s much easier to give people an insight into your unique business if you follow a tried and tested recipe.

So, what are the key ingredients for effective networking? I’ve picked my top five……

1. Get prepared: Give yourself plenty of time and space to plan ahead. As well as the basics of getting there on time etc, think about something really specific that you what you want to get out of it. For example, who do you want to connect with? What’s the key message you want to deliver? How can others help you this month?
2. Give a showstopping pitch: This is your opportunity to wow people by serving your winning dish. You can get really creative here with props, photographs and stories to bring your business to life. Think about your strongest products and services and give people a taste of what you do and how you could help them. Don’t try to cram too much into your 60 seconds – simplicity with a touch of creativity often wins the day.
3. Create a stir: What will make you memorable and get people to take action after the meeting has finished? Launching a special event, giving people a printed flyer, or following up with an email to arrange a 1-2-1, are just some of the ways you can remind people about your business and keep building those connections.
4. Offer an extra slice: What can you do to support members and add value to your group? Could you make some introductions to people you know? What visitors could you bring? How about running a workshop on a specialist area of expertise? The more you put into networking, the more you will get out of it.
5. Embrace the Technical Challenge: One of the best bits about networking is the opportunity to build your skills as well as your connections. Being part of a group of supportive businesswomen, is the perfect environment to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Give yourself permission to try something new in your pitch, or test out your messaging with people you trust. Try to grasp every opportunity you can for self-development by taking part in workshops, training and events. If you focus on personal growth, your business is more likely to flourish as a result.

From my point of view, there’s no such thing as providing a pre-packed, ready-made solution to growing your business. You can’t just turn up to a networking meeting and expect the business to flow. After all, creating a magnificent cake involves more than buying some flour, eggs, butter and sugar! WIBN’s trusted format creates the right environment but you have to put in effort and commitment to get the best results.

Across my groups, I see the success of sprinkling these ingredients into your networking approach. Members win business, grow in confidence and build long-lasting support networks. And it’s sometimes the people who struggled most in the beginning with shyness or a lack of confidence, that go on to be the most brilliant Star Networkers. In my eyes, that’s worth a special handshake, any day of the week!

Written by Brittney Karen Skeates on Women in Business Network. Read the original article here.