On Relationships: Stop the Bleeding!

"If you never heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you." - I first came across this quote about a year ago. I was like WHOAAAA. That's so true!

Remember when I wrote "Who Says Divorced Single Mums are Weak?", it was one of my healing stories.

I have had to put myself in the picture of that quote. I asked myself the question - Shayo, have you fully healed from what hurt you or are you still bleeding on people who didn't cut you? Well, the honest answer was, I hadn't fully healed. I still had trust issues back then and it still resurfaces every now and again, even now.

However, this is one thing I have learned: Getting hurt may not have been my fault, but getting healed is 100% my responsibility.

Your Bleeding Does not Hurt Only You

It's just not fair putting the burden of past failures/mistakes on somebody else. It's not fair allowing somebody else to pay for your pain. Bleeding on people who did not cut you is absolutely unfair.

I mean, if they truly love you and care, they will immediately want to help care for the wound, clean it and bind it and soothe you until it heals. Yet, if you keep taking off the bandage and picking on the wound, how long do you want them to keep helping you bind this wound?

You see, your healing is your responsibility. You have to decide to get healed for YOU! You have to decide to get healed so you don't keep bleeding on people who didn't hurt you. You have to decide to get healed, so others don't continue to carry the burden of your past. It's just not fair on people.

Why People Abuse those they Love

One thing I have discovered about abusers is that there is a root cause.

Read this blog I shared early in the year: What's the Right Way to Raise a Girl?

Something went wrong in their foundation. Something happened to them at some point in their life and because it wasn't dealt with and because they did not seek help, they have become the person they are today.

In as much as that is understandable and explains their behaviour, does it excuse it, however? NO, IT DOES NOT!

Yes, you were hurt.
Yes, you were betrayed.
Yes, you were molested.
Yes, you were abused.
Yes, you were cheated on.
Yes, you were made to feel worthless.
Yes, you were accused of a crime you did not commit.
Yes, you were lied on.

We understand....that explains how you feel and act....but does it justify it? NO, IT DOES NOT.


Please, take responsibility for your healing and stop bleeding all over those who did not cut you.

If this rings true for you, just take it and say ouch. Then go work on yourself!!!


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